Sometimes I am so lost and not sure what I am doing...
I hurt so deep and not sure how to tell...
Confusion grabs me and sucks the life out...
Hope laughs in the corner and is no help...
Faith is quiet, tolerance is little, forgiveness is out of reach...
Am I a fool?
Dammed to repeat...
Crazy is what I know I am...
repeat and fall
repeat and fall
repeat and oh just maybe this time....
I walk as fast as I can to the light;
but it never becomes closer,
nor does it grow in bright...
Lord....
I don't want to be this strong...
I want a way to be free...
I can not hear you....
I only feel that you are there...
Waiting for?
for me to fall; and pick me up?
for me to climb; and dust me off?
for me to learn; and move on?
Speak loud;
I fear I am deaf...
from all my screaming
from all the yelling
from all the voices
from all the advice
from all the promise
from all the lies
from all that is...
Sometimes I am just so lost....
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I wrote this before I new true pain... for not long after, I found that there would be no second chance or answer to grow out of with the one I fought for so long to be more then what was. Dec 16th I found my husband dead, no more questions, no more sorry, no more nothings will come from him anymore. Just left to try and work this all out..... alone....
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